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Over the summer of 2016, I spent 160 hours looking at the theology and ethics of Dr. Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. as part of my seminary studies. It was hard to spend that kind of time immersed in stories of injustice, contemplating racism, mourning over the little progress we’ve made, and trying to think of ways to be an agent of hope and change. But, however hard it was for me, it was only ten weeks. Many people live with these issues day-in and day-out and cannot simply walk away. That ability to walk away–to shelve the empathy and anger and uncomfortable smallness against such a giant evil–is a mark of privilege, of ignorance, or apathy. While I know many inclusively-minded people who embrace others no matter the color of their skin, racism is more than that. Color-of-the-skin racism is but one definition. The issue that is mind-blowingly complicated to me, the one that I cannot simply absolve myself of with kindness to all, is systematic racism.

In terms of systematic racism, the US has made little-to-no progress from King’s days on so many fronts: the urban poor, the war on drugs, mortality rates of Black mothers and infants in certain areas, stories of police brutality that are echoes of the Jim Crow South. If you are not sure what systematic racism is all about, I’m about to give you an example. I’m going to share my term paper research with you. I put a tremendous amount of time, prayer, heart, and tears into it. I’m nervous about sharing it. The mind-tapes say to me: it’s only Master’s-level work, I’m not an expert on birth or race, I’ve only been applying theology this way for so long , anything birth-related hits nerves fast, anything race-related hits nerves fast. But I pray that God will use it for good in some way. 

I want to offer a closing prayer up here, a word of hope, so it doesn’t get missed amidst the considerable footnotes (there are great quotes and stories in with the citations) and bibliography. So, read the paper right below the picture, and then scroll up back here when  you are done.

Dear God,

We could walk away from the heaviness we feel when we encounter stories of injustice.
But, may we not.  
May we instead find ways to
listen and support,
vote in the polls and with our wallets,
teach our children well,
and speak up as allies.

We echo Dr. King’s prayer:
“Eternal God, out of whose mind this great cosmic universe, we bless you.
Help us to seek that which is high, noble and good.
Help us in the moment of difficult decision.
Help us to work with renewed vigor for a warless world,
a better distribution of wealth,
and a brother/sisterhood that transcends race or color.’”

As we celebrate Dr. King’s birthday,
as our country moves into a new administration on Friday
which brings up so many feelings,
we offer a resounding
AMEN.

MLK Birth Racism Theology

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Pumpkin Oatmeal Pancakes + Kids Cooking

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In 2015, Mothering.com published a piece I wrote on Mommy Wars (also on the MG4LG blog). In summer 2016, I got to turn that article into a 45-minute talk for Mommy Con DC called Declaring War on Mommy Wars: Graceful Communication in the Midst of Conflict. Mommy Con is a nation-wide natural parenting conference that attracts over 1,000 visitors to its DC stop. Not only was it awesome to speak, but I got to hear information  on other interesting topics and visit all sorts of vendors, including Jessica Haney of Mindful Healthy Life who interviewed me early this summer.

Photo Credit: Mindful Healthy Life

Photo Credit: Mindful Healthy Life

Here’s the premise of the talk: Read more…

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DIY: Homeschool Car Magnet

Our family started considering ourselves homeschoolers last year, but this is the year that my oldest, V, is Kindergarten-eligible so we are “official” in the sense that we have declared our homeschooling status to the county. Last year, the kids wanted a school name and we settled on Fontanafax Adventure School. This year, their request was to have a school magnet to put on the back of our car. So, we made one! Magnets made to cover air vents are large and heavy-duty, so we used that as our base. Through a couple of discussions, we came up with this design:

Homeschool Car Magnet

The overall arrow shape represents Read more…

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V Turns 5

2016-01-04 09.03.03

Five years ago we were blessed with our precious son V after a hard road to parenthood. He experiences the world deeply and notices things that others might miss. Read more…

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The Christmas Story in Pictures


Luke 2:1-:20

In those days, Caesar Augustus made a law. It required that a list be made of everyone in the whole Roman world. It was the first time a list was made of the people while Quirinius was governor of Syria.  Everyone went to their own town to be listed. So Joseph went also. He went from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea. That is where Bethlehem, the town of David, was. Joseph went there because he belonged to the family line of David. He went there with Mary to be listed. Mary was engaged to him. She was expecting a baby.

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While Joseph and Mary were there, the time came for the child to be born. She gave birth to her first baby. It was a boy. She wrapped him in large strips of cloth. Then she placed him in a manger. That’s because there was no guest room where they could stay.

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Upcycling Craft: Wine Cork Boats

Years ago, I had a dream of making one of those cork boards made from wine corks. Since I don’t drink much wine, I asked others to pass on their corks. I’m about 9 years out from that request, and we might have enough wine corks to cover a wall. I went to Pinterest for ideas, and finally got to work. In honor of E’s third birthday, big brother V and I teamed up to make boats for the kids in our family plus the two local cousins. We thought these would be fun for the pool, creek, and bath. I am creative, but not really an artist and definitely not spacial, but these were doable and fun. We had a good time making them together.

Wine Cork Boat

 

Step 1: Hot glue a bunch of corks together. Lay them out first to make fairly even lines, I liked pairing them up  length-wise with glue and then gluing the “columns” together. Read more…

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I am a huge fan of Dr. Laura Markham and her website Ahaparenting.com, so when she put out a book on sibling relationships, I was thrilled. Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings* (PPHS)is a welcome addition in the world of positive parenting. Really the only other similar book I know of is the wonderful classic Siblings Without Rivalry* by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, but I needed to do a lot of adjustment to the concepts in that book to make it work for the baby, toddler, and preschool set, especially when I was living in the world of two-kids-under-two. PPHS fills that gap and addresses how to apply gentle parenting concepts for the younger ages.

Peaceful Parents Happy Siblings

Part One of PPHS explains Read more…

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The Home Birth of Baby T

Baby 3 is here. It’s a boy, and he is now eight weeks old!
Baby T 8 weeks

 

Baby T was born on Father’s Day and is a dream come true in every way. To be a mother to three (three!) children is such a mind-blowing thing after a road to parenthood that involved loss and infertility. We are so grateful for our sons. They teach us and grow us every day. Baby T’s birth was also a dream come true in another way: he was born at home. This had been a dream of mine since I was a teenager when I babysat for a mom of three who was a lawyer, Bradley Birth instructor, homebirther, and later went on to be a midwife. When the kids were asleep, I would peruse her educational bookshelf. These readings left a deep impression on me. I learned that birth need not be an unbearably painful, drama-filled thing like in movies. I learned that birth is a process that harnesses the amazing design of the female body and our incredible hormones (the classic Childbirth Without Fear is a good read on this).

Fast-forward many years: for our oldest child’s birth, we finally settled on a hospital birth versus home birth in the 3rd trimester for financial reasons.** The hospital, even with a doula, ample preparation, and self-advocacy, was not a fit for me.  For our second son’s birth, we knew we’d find a way to make the money work, as certified professional midwife (CPM) care was a vastly better fit for processing birth trauma as well as pregnancy with pelvic instability. But, with pending construction at our house, we opted to deliver at a freestanding birth center rather than home. It was an amazing home-away-from-home birth, with all the same (lack of) equipment as home, but we still had to load up, drive to get there, drive home, etc. So, for the third time around, we knew we wanted to be at home for the whole thing. Provided baby and I were healthy, it was time for the dream to come true! Now, here’s the story.

*Check out this irony: a hospital birth cost $11K-$30k+ but our part is $0 with insurance. In contrast, non-hospital pre-natal care and the birth is about $4k, but our insurance covers none of it.

 

The Birth of Baby T

Disclaimer:  this is a birth story. It involves bodily functions. I have not shared anything here that I am not comfortable saying aloud to you face-to-face. But, if you aren’t interested in such details, stop reading now. Read more…

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When E turned two, I started this series to reflect on how an attachment parented child naturally grows in independence. While every child  is different (my three boys sure are), I hope that attachment parenting parents are encouraged to see that a bedsharing baby  will eventually do fine in his own space, a nursing toddler doesn’t  continue at the breast into high school, and a babyworn kiddo learns to walk, explore, and assert himself. 

 

Baby Bee E

Our Dear E at Age 3

You sleep in your own bed, a crib mattress on the floor in a room with your brother. You like to sleep with your baby and a lantern. Sometimes you like a parent to lay with you for a few minutes, but usually you just want your own space. You usually are aware of your tiredness and fall asleep easily and quietly, though some nights you do like to use your pass (“get out of bed free” card) to do spins in the living room. Your body seems to have a natural clock when it comes to sleep. You sleep through the night and wake up at 6:00 am, and you nap from 1:00-3:00 each afternoon.

You weaned from nursing at 26 months when my milk dried (I was 15 weeks pregnant). You were only nursing once per day so it was not a jarring transition. Since T was born 6 weeks ago, you sometimes ask to nurse again. This means a 1 second attempt before you move on.

Your favorite foods are Read more…

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